Growing up I've always felt a little resentful of the things that have happened in my life. Primarily when I was sent to the philippines for highschool. It was rather hard for me to adapt. Everybody spoke the language except me, a filipina who was not openly accepted by her own people but could never be a true American due to the color of her skin. It was hard because at that time my mother was also going through a very tough divorce that lasted almost seven years. We were very poor then and the only thing she could do was to send me to the Philippines. My classmates made fun of my shoes, my socks, my uniform. I could hardly study because half the time I had a hard time understanding the english that my teachers spoke. Overtime ofcourse I got over it and things got a little better. But it really was never comfortable.
While the majority of my classmates had a mother, father, and siblings, it was hard for me to have friends that would understand the divorce my parents were going through, the tough times I had to reconcile childhood molestation and knowing that I would never really meet my biological father. I had to deal with the change in culture, of people, and being a teenager at the same time. But I learned something rather important.
I want to teach my kids to not discriminate based on cultural experiences or social class position. I want them to understand that you can be the smartest person in school, but being schooled does not equal being educated. That character is more evident on how you perform at home, how you treat your mother is how they will treat their wives, how they treat their mother is how their children will treat them. I want my children to grow up with a father. I hate the idea of divorce. Marriage is not just an individual's satisfaction of needs, but the psychological and emotional needs of the family as a whole. Marriage is not a board game that you can decide to quit anytime it doesn't go your way, it is a journey that you take whatever road you may tread on. It requires endurance as well as determination. Marriage is not an institute of the law, rather a gift from God. A much treasured gift that only God should be allowed to break apart if He sees fit.
At the same time, I do not blame my mother for any of her choices. Her choices have affected me and made me who I am. I will cherish my mother like a princess, not only because I love her, but because my example will hopefully show my children how I would want them to treat me. Finally, I must admit that I still hold some kind of resentment to many of those who blatantly refused to accept me whether it be due to popularity or social postion. But, one thing that I must continually tell myself, it is not our fault that one's character is formed, but rather our responsibility to adapt while at the same time stand for our beliefs, to understand while at the same time allow ourselves to be understood, and to respect while at the same time achieve a respectable disposition. If hardships and obstacles have taught me one thing, it would be God, the giver of my strength who above all else has kept me going till this very minute.