NAKAKAINIS!!!

"WHAT THE F***!"

WHAT THE F***! WHY DID HE WIN?????????HOW THE HELL DID TAYLOR HICKS WIN????!!@#@%@#@#% What the @#$@%!#! He can't even sing that well! Kat CAN SING. Chris CAN SING!!! What the @#!@#@$!!!!! I'm so pi$$&)!!! And I voted too!!! Arrggg!!!

the sperm donor

I consider him the sperm donor!

For 25 years, almost 26 in a month, I have lived my life without ever knowing my father. I've never even met him. Up until this day, he's not my father if one truly understands the definition of the word. I consider him the sperm donor! Then just a few months ago, I found out that my husband's uncle was best friends with my biological father way back in his college days. There are even pictures to prove it. All my friends tell me that if I get a chance, that I should look for him. Everybody has been telling me that maybe I should find him. Some actually know where he is. But I don't want to, although I'm curious. What will it do to my mother? How will she feel if I find him? What if I hurt her? What if she never really liked him or that he was a mistake in her past that she is not willing to confront? I'm afraid of hurting her because she's done all that she could raising me by herself. But I do wonder, what if I have siblings? I've always been an only child. What if he looks like me? What if I look like the siblings? But I'm also afraid I might hurt HIS side as well. What if his family doesn't know he has another child? What if it will affect his family? What if it breaks it apart if all of a sudden I come into existence? These are risks I'm not willing to take. So even though I have these curious questions, the consequences just don't seem to be worth it. Afterall, if he really was interested, why hasn't he taken the effort to look for me?

What should I do?

love him

"TO THE MOM OF MY FUTURE KIDS. THE LOVE OF MY LIFE"

There's certainly something more than money that make me smile. It's love. Always love. I got a card for mother's day! My Toto. He gave me a card. On the envelope it said "TO MY TATA, TO THE MOM OF MY FUTURE KIDS, THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!". Then inside it had this cute cat cartoon that was saying things such as "To my wonderful wife, know what I love most about you? Your sexy smile, your cute laugh, your passionate kisses, your warmth and caring, your sense of humor, your forgiving ways, the way you snuggle, your gentle touch, your whisper in my ear, EVERYTHING! Happy mother's day, I love you. Yours forever, Toto!" Damn I love my man! He just makes me skip a beat.

I have a secret

"may become necessary for sexual gratification"

I have this fetish. What sucks about it is that it makes me so SUPERFICIAL!!! Arggg!!! Sometimes it affects my relationships. Sometimes it makes me think bad thoughts. I wonder if they have support groups (or better yet, fetish removal groups) that can help me overcome this so that I don't get in so much trouble. Man, I'm going to get in so much trouble for this. Does anybody know any rehabilitation programs for freeky diky stuff like this. I know, I'm weird.Edit:// ok, let me just expand this a bit. The meaning of fetish is: An object of unreasonably excessive attention or reverence, something, such as a material object or a nonsexual part of the body, that arouses sexual desire and may become necessary for sexual gratification. An abnormally obsessive preoccupation or attachment; a fixation.

With that said, it's almost like cheating isn't it? And just to clarify, it's the arms. Nice cut arms. Not big, not buff, just cut.....

not just race

"I can't imagine my Lola considered a felon"

As hundreds of thousands of immigrants, mostly latinos walked the streets of the country yesterday, I softly wondered to myself, would there really be a great impact? The only way for the United States to be impacted by the boycott is if every single immigrant walked the streets. Not just latinos, but filipinos, thai, asians, middle easterns, indians, all immigrants. Does the new proposed law not understand how bad economically the country would be without immigrants? 35 million immigrants in the united states, imagine how much taxes they pay, imagine our produce, who is willing to pick their own lettuce or pay ten dollars for a head of lettuce? Engineers, doctors, professionals all contributed their cultural and educational skills to this country to advance it in medicine, science, and agriculture. I can't imagine my Lola considered a felon, 70+ years old, worked her butt off to support family members in the Philippines, Lola considered as a felon. The main reason there are so many filipino nurses in the US is because white Americans don't want to be nurses. They want a higher pay raise than what typical filipino nurses get. That said, I doubt there are many white americans who are willing to clean toilets, wipe elder people's butts, wash dishes in restaurants, pick the produce in the farms. A great nation is one whose attributes embrace cultures, understand cultures, and appreciate other cultures for their contributions to society. The greatness of one country is due to the contributions of another.

Update: new poem entry "BECAUSE I LOVE YOU"