past perfected

Do you ever squirm about wonderful days in highschool? I was looking through some old pictures and happened upon some that just made me scream. I decided to embarrass myself and post some really horrible pictures of my highschool fashion sense... laugh all you want.

In picture one, WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT thing around my neck!! is it supposed to be a necklace?





In picture two, check out my bandana cap and moomoo outfit. Was i born in the sixties? Yaaarrrrhhhhggg to the pirate!! Lol!

And picture three is the best one yet, I'm wearing some kind of white stocking, a bridesmaid dress and WHAT IS UP with the bangs!!!

another anniversary

You must possess hope. Hope inspite of pain, hope inspite of sorrow, hope inspite of regret for hope can erase all these. There is hope in a tear as sorrow can bring love. There is hope in remembrance as to reminisce brings understanding. There is hope in a world where an act for separation can be bring compassion. Hope in the presence of freedom, not dominion, joy not war, faith not arrogance, peace not agression.

envy

"But her bust line was even more amazing!"

Do you ever get jealous at those super pretty girls that just get every man's attention? I was sitting at starbucks having my favorite cup of coffee. I actually took time to look pretty today. My hair was nice, I had some make-up on and i felt pretty confident. Then, in a blink of an eye, here she comes in, tall, about 5'7 or 5'8, long silky brunnette with blue-greenish eyes, smooth skin and lips with a hint of tan on her skin and a slender physique. But her bust line was even more amazing. Not too big, but certainly a handful. Ugh! I said to myself. If only...if only... We always think that maybe they are airheads or not that smart. I looked to see what she was holding in her hand, a big heavy biology book and she had a laptop in a cute laptop bag around her shoulder. She was just wearing flat shoes, jeans, and a nice fitting white blouse but believe me, all perverted testosterone driven eyes were on her. My husband claims i'm often vain, well, after seeing her, I felt more envious than vain. I felt ugly actually. Ugh! I said to myself again. We short people never get to win... Ugh!

don't kill me now

"...talking about suicide"

A good friend of mine is in the hospital with complications to her heart, lungs, blood, and intestines. It's a never ending battle to stay alive and a never ending battle for the doctors to keep her going. But now things have changed for the worst. Her whole life she has been in and out of the hospital, nothing she can't handle. But things are getting harder and harder for her and at times she can no longer keep her head up and smiling. She left a message on my voicemail talking about suicide. Recently, she was on a suicide watch. A 70 hour hold. The doctors must be really pissed at her because they must be doing everything they can to keep her living. They have been doing that her whole life. Now it has changed. I'm pissed at her. I'm so mad at her because she has a daughter that she has to live for. She has friends who care and love her. And yet, I cannot sympathize with her because I don't know how frustrating it must be, i don't know how painful it must be.

How is one to know if someone is really dedicated to committing suicide?
There are people who talk about suicide but never do it. They just want your attention. One of my friends told me that there are specific signs you have to pay attention to when someone tells you they want to commit suicide. First, they tell you they want to commit it, second, ask what they plan to do to get it done, and if it sounds doable, ask if they have a reason. If they answered all of those questions, the next thing you do is call the authorities. It is important to keep these things in mind. Please keep her in your prayers even if you don't know her. It doesn't hurt to pray if it can save a life.

insomnia

"And it goes blah blah blah..."

Can't sleep. Too much on my mind. Made Camping itinerary for the church. Yankees game tomorrow, can't wait to wear my Jeter jersey and yankee cap. Thinking about a good bowl of rocky road ice cream if i have the guts to go downstairs and open my freezer. And it goes on, blah blah blah... Thinking if I should work another job, take classes on the side. Hubby sleeping beside me, computer on my lap, screen light to the lowest. Where are the cats? They usually sleep on the bed with us. Too hot but turned off aircon to save utility bill. Got the fan on but my hair is bugging... Need a good foot massage and I still have that pony tail on my head from this morning. Feet hurt from the heels I wore to church. I wonder how he can just fall asleep like that. How do men do it? ugh! Better try to get some shut eye so I can actually wake up to watch the Yankees. They lost already to the Angels, hope they won't lose again tomorrow... What is up with that?? Wonder if Ferdie is going to cut his mohawk, Diana might convince him,... though he could convince her. She just loves loves him. Bob and Agnes are getting hitched, About time!!! They're so sweet together, hihihi... fun to watch. I wonder if people think me and my hubby are a good looking couple... ?? My Math teacher Sir Dano has a friendster account!!!! Angela is preggy...she'll probably pop out a genius!!! I'm excited.