don't kill me now

"...talking about suicide"

A good friend of mine is in the hospital with complications to her heart, lungs, blood, and intestines. It's a never ending battle to stay alive and a never ending battle for the doctors to keep her going. But now things have changed for the worst. Her whole life she has been in and out of the hospital, nothing she can't handle. But things are getting harder and harder for her and at times she can no longer keep her head up and smiling. She left a message on my voicemail talking about suicide. Recently, she was on a suicide watch. A 70 hour hold. The doctors must be really pissed at her because they must be doing everything they can to keep her living. They have been doing that her whole life. Now it has changed. I'm pissed at her. I'm so mad at her because she has a daughter that she has to live for. She has friends who care and love her. And yet, I cannot sympathize with her because I don't know how frustrating it must be, i don't know how painful it must be.

How is one to know if someone is really dedicated to committing suicide?
There are people who talk about suicide but never do it. They just want your attention. One of my friends told me that there are specific signs you have to pay attention to when someone tells you they want to commit suicide. First, they tell you they want to commit it, second, ask what they plan to do to get it done, and if it sounds doable, ask if they have a reason. If they answered all of those questions, the next thing you do is call the authorities. It is important to keep these things in mind. Please keep her in your prayers even if you don't know her. It doesn't hurt to pray if it can save a life.

insomnia

"And it goes blah blah blah..."

Can't sleep. Too much on my mind. Made Camping itinerary for the church. Yankees game tomorrow, can't wait to wear my Jeter jersey and yankee cap. Thinking about a good bowl of rocky road ice cream if i have the guts to go downstairs and open my freezer. And it goes on, blah blah blah... Thinking if I should work another job, take classes on the side. Hubby sleeping beside me, computer on my lap, screen light to the lowest. Where are the cats? They usually sleep on the bed with us. Too hot but turned off aircon to save utility bill. Got the fan on but my hair is bugging... Need a good foot massage and I still have that pony tail on my head from this morning. Feet hurt from the heels I wore to church. I wonder how he can just fall asleep like that. How do men do it? ugh! Better try to get some shut eye so I can actually wake up to watch the Yankees. They lost already to the Angels, hope they won't lose again tomorrow... What is up with that?? Wonder if Ferdie is going to cut his mohawk, Diana might convince him,... though he could convince her. She just loves loves him. Bob and Agnes are getting hitched, About time!!! They're so sweet together, hihihi... fun to watch. I wonder if people think me and my hubby are a good looking couple... ?? My Math teacher Sir Dano has a friendster account!!!! Angela is preggy...she'll probably pop out a genius!!! I'm excited.

can't do it

"I LOVE DEREK JETER!!!"

So yes, I am a bit of a baseball fan due to the fanatic man who I call my hubby. Whenever it's the Yankees, and sometimes the Dodgers, he can't get his mind off the game. Even when he's driving, he tunes the radio to the game, when we're at a party or doing some errands, he constantly checks his fone on the internet for new updates and sometimes you'll just randomly hear him shout for joy behind you as you're walking when he finds that his team is winning or did something to have an advantage. GO YANKEES!!! I feel somewhat for Boston Red Sox because they lost four straight games against the Yankees. That must SUCK! But at the same time, GO YANKEES and they are winning without the "supposed" magic of AROD. I LOVE DEREK JETER!!! I hope they keep on winning. I feel for Johnny Damon though. If they keep booing him, at that rate he might just want to win any game against the RED SOX! It's not fair, he contributed so much to Red Sox win in '04 and the management didn't even want to keep him. It wasn't his choice to leave but they didn't sign him back on. Well, moving to the Yankees is the best decision he ever made. At lease he's with a team that actually wants him and they are doing great! GO DAMON!! He looks great without the mustache, almost like changing identity. We actually see his face! YEY!!! GOOD JOB JOHNNY!!!

edit:// AHEM... 5 straight games. They won the fifth today!! Wooohoo!! Another Boston Massacre!

Things I love

Things I love, a cleaning husband and some good FUZE drink (especially the white tea)!

If I die today

"Nothing compares to the terror they must face now..."

There was this guy asking around to see what people thought of all the images being portrayed in the newpapers and magazines about the war in Lebanon and Israel. Most of the people were upset that such gruesome images were allowed to be shown and published. That out-of-sight out-of-mind metality! None of those images are anywhere close to what those orphans are seeing, death in the streets, whose parents were killed, whose aunts and uncles where killed, whose neighbors and friends were killed by acts of war. Nothing compares to the terror they must face now, now that it is happening again even when all they have is themselves. I am troubled. Troubled that the world is falling apart. Troubled that while many die, many don't care. Troubled that I cannot do more than contribute money or raise awareness. However, I rejoice for it gives me hope that Jesus may come in our lifetime! That revelation will finally happen! I'm troubled, but excited. I hate the wars, the terror, but these are signs you know. It gives me an opportunity to still change. Look in the mirror and see my faults and ask forgiveness. You never know, a bomb might hit tomorrow, today, or in a few hours in our cities, in our towns. If I die today will I be able to face the One who can come and take me away? Will you?